Oh, the relief!

Well, I went to the thing, the social gathering. And I survived!! I was getting nervous as we got ready – I didn’t really know exactly who would be there and how many people. So I couldn’t quite picture those first few moments when we would walk in and say hi to everyone.

Before this challenge, I would have said, when offered a drink, ‘yes, wine would be lovely, thank you’, and then cling to the glass gratefully, just waiting not to feel so socially awkward. But this time, that option was obviously not available to me, and I was dreading a sudden attack of nerves at the wrong moment. So I had a Kalms tablet. Just one. They’re mild herbal sedatives, for use during the daytime. I sometimes (rarely) take a couple if I can’t sleep at night so I’d never have two in the day! Anyway, I felt a bit bad for taking something to help me feel less anxious.

My husband and I went to the place, we were offered drinks and I refused bubbles and opted for coke (seemed like the easiest non alcoholic option) and we said our hellos to people. It went OK. I was prompted by the hostess to tell her Father the story about the escaping pet crayfish (it belongs to school, I’ve looked after it over the summer) which I’d shared on Facebook at the time. It gave me something to talk about, albeit a haltingly, and sparked off quite a conversation between him and his wife, and my husband and I.

More friends arrived, and one guy who my husband had told about the 100 day challenge yesterday just came right out and said to me, in front of everyone, ‘Still dry then?’!!!! Oh My God!! The host (weird to talk in these synonyms but hey) said things along the lines of ‘oh right, so you’re not drinking!’ etc, and the wife of the guy who rumbled me caught up with what was going on and said ‘But why?’, with a very confused expression on her face! Bless her, I mean she really is a lovely girl, and it was great that no one seemed to be judging me at all! She seemed very concerned that I might have to tackle Christmas alcohol free, but I said the challenge would probably be over by the end of November or so.

After that, everything was fine, we stayed a couple of hours, there were lots of children and babies there, which I thought there would be. But that was OK. When we left, the host was just bringing out pizza, and he assured me that it was alcohol free as I took a slice. Just his normal way of joking about stuff I suppose… So I didn’t get into any deep and meaningful conversations about my being sober, but everyone knows about it now. No more big revelations to get out of the way.

In the car on the way home, I asked my husband (shall I just call him Mr W?) how he thought it went. He knew I was feeling very anxious about it beforehand, and I have to say, he has been great about me trying this sober thing. I said I felt I had got through it OK – I was just myself, no crazy insecure behaviour, no being too loud because of too much wine. He agreed, that it was fine and I had nothing to worry about.

I mean, I did feel a bit awkward, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might have been. And I was used to doing that kind of thing with a drink, so it’s bound to take a bit of getting used to. Another plus is not worrying about what I did or said while drunk.

It’s getting late, I’m back to work tomorrow, and I’m sure I’ll have plenty more to say about everything later.
I don’t know if anyone is reading but I hope you’re all happy and sober out there…

xx

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3 thoughts on “Oh, the relief!”

  1. Don’t let comments bother you. Christmas will come. You will be even further into sobriety then and can decide what gift you want to give yourself!

    I quit drinking on Dec 1. My birthday was Dec 8. Then Christmas, new years, etc. Each event caused me to consider my choices. I am glad I chose to stay sober.

    I started this saying it was my birthday gift to myself. I was definitely not ready to even consider forever then. A year seemed impossible. I surprise myself sometimes!!!!

    Like

    1. Thanks for the comment:) What a great way to think about it – a gift to yourself.
      I’m not thinking of suddenly going back to the wine after 100 days. I think I just said that to shut her up! It seemed to be such an alien concept to her to quit wine for 100 days, nevermind over Christmas…!!

      Like

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