The stress at work continues. The issue hasn’t been resolved yet, but there seems to be something in the pipeline…
I am frustrated because I’m not in control of the situation, which I would say directly affects me. I have made my best efforts to express my concerns, and I do think my manager agrees that things can’t continue the way they are…
And yet the person I’m having difficulty with is basically doing whatever suits them, and getting away with it! I’m left to pick up all the slack so that the department doesn’t suffer, and I’m physically exhausted, plus I’m forgetting things right left and centre. Which is embarrassing!
I have really tried to be restrained and not get all emotional about this, tried not to let it affect me, but the truth is, after dragging on like this, it has. I feel undervalued, unappreciated.
I love my job, and I put a lot of effort in. I want to be brilliant at it, and make good progress. Maybe this is just a necessary readjustment phase – it is possible that we’ll get someone new in the department if this person moves on.
The thought of wine has not remotely crossed my mind. It wouldn’t do anything at all to help. But because I’m not numbing my brain every evening, I think a lot more about this kind of stuff… Not in a despairing sort of way, more like trying to solve the problem. But I haven’t got the right tools for the job, not for thinking about this nor acting upon it. I need to get me some of those… Good grief, sobriety is exhausting, my brain is worn out!
OK, the plan is… this is beyond my control. I will try to stay calm (not easy on a demanding day like today), and wait for whatever is going to happen. Because I’m pretty convinced there will be a change, and I want to be ready for it. Does that sound OK, as plans go?
Just as a completely unrelated aside – penguins always make me smile 😀