My brain is worn out!

The stress at work continues. The issue hasn’t been resolved yet, but there seems to be something in the pipeline…

I am frustrated because I’m not in control of the situation, which I would say directly affects me. I have made my best efforts to express my concerns, and I do think my manager agrees that things can’t continue the way they are…

And yet the person I’m having difficulty with is basically doing whatever suits them, and getting away with it! I’m left to pick up all the slack so that the department doesn’t suffer, and I’m physically exhausted, plus I’m forgetting things right left and centre. Which is embarrassing!

I have really tried to be restrained and not get all emotional about this, tried not to let it affect me, but the truth is, after dragging on like this, it has. I feel undervalued, unappreciated.

I love my job, and I put a lot of effort in. I want to be brilliant at it, and make good progress. Maybe this is just a necessary readjustment phase – it is possible that we’ll get someone new in the department if this person moves on.

The thought of wine has not remotely crossed my mind. It wouldn’t do anything at all to help. But because I’m not numbing my brain every evening, I think a lot more about this kind of stuff… Not in a despairing sort of way, more like trying to solve the problem. But I haven’t got the right tools for the job, not for thinking about this nor acting upon it. I need to get me some of those… Good grief, sobriety is exhausting, my brain is worn out!

OK, the plan is… this is beyond my control. I will try to stay calm (not easy on a demanding day like today), and wait for whatever is going to happen. Because I’m pretty convinced there will be a change, and I want to be ready for it. Does that sound OK, as plans go?

Just as a completely unrelated aside – penguins always make me smile 😀

penguin

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4 thoughts on “My brain is worn out!”

  1. Hello Waking Up,
    I’ve read your post and just wanted to drop a line. Worked out to be more than one line. I worked in teams and been a manager several years and if I look in that position were to look your post and work problem I have one question: why do you pick up the pieces that other people leave behind? Is that your job or do you ‘feel obliged’?
    If it is not your job, chances are that a manager will not act upon the situation but in the end just tell you to ‘take it down a notch, not worry too much, leave be what can be’. If you pursue your course chances are that it will be considered as gossiping. No, at this point this reply of mine does not sound very nice. I know. I have received it myself. :-/
    I guess the art of dealing with this is in defining your own bounderies; what is your job and what is not. If it is to pick up the pieces, pick up the pieces. In that case you might decide that your job is rather boring (guessing…) and want to try to get a more interesting project going for yourself to come to a situation where you can say ‘Ooh, suddenly I do not have enough time to pick up the pieces’.
    If it is not your job, and I am guessing that most of it is not, consider what you can ‘let go’. Find a place in yourself where you are sure about your job, your responsibilities and Yourself – this collegue of yours and your managers (lack of) reaction seem to have eaten in on your confidence. Redefine what is yours and theirs and act upon it. Start small and only react if you feel confident and sure and have covered your ass 100%, otherwise the collegue will shuffle you under the table. Nasty people have become nasty and can be because others go along with it. That’s how they get away with it.
    I’m not saying that you have to re-raise the brat but you can take care of your own bounderies. You have done very well with keeping the booze, a very, very nasty brat, out of what is your life, your area of responsibility. Now keep the slacking of the nasty collegue out. 😉 You don’t have to take the shit in and process it.

    Hope it helps 🙂

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  2. Hi feeling,
    thank you for your insight into this, I really appreciate it… yes I am very aware that if I don’t act, but this still simmers away, that it could be construed as ‘gossiping’, very much so. And I do get the importance of boundaries…it’s just that I don’t have experience of dealing with this kind of stuff effectively. With similar stuff in the past I have just muddled through.
    Oh this is so hard! I find it so difficult not to run around doing all the work that’s left over.
    The person in question has two different line managers (with conflicting objectives), and I feel has used this to her advantage. I think this is why the situation hasn’t been properly addressed.
    Anyway, some of this stuff IS definitely within my influence, as you say – how I deal with the boundaries. I think I understand, and will try to do some redefining tomorrow…
    Thanks again for the advice,
    🙂 x

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  3. It IS hard, most of us have been thought that ‘being responsible’ is a good thing. I guess the thing is to get the dose right. I’d say your first responsibility lies with you. But hey, I will throw a big party when I’ve got that one worked out for myself. 😉 Enjoy your new challenge. 🙂

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  4. Having to deal with people like that can completely poison your life if you let it – I hope you resolve the issue and stand up for what is right and not what she’s pushing you into.

    Thanks for your comment on my blog – I really appreciate it xx

    Liked by 1 person

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