I’ve just read ‘What’s the point?’ on A Woman Without Wine’s blog. I started to comment on it then realised I had quite a bit to say, so….
I’m on day 68, and reading the Jason Vale book at the moment. While I do agree with his views to an extent, I don’t see much evidence (I will admit that I haven’t looked very hard!) that normal drinkers are in any kind of ‘trap’ of alcohol addiction.
In my bizarre quest for recognition (what IS that all about?) over the last few days, I occasionally tell them my day count. They look at me quizzically. Oh right. Why are you counting days? Why are you not drinking?….So what’s the big deal? They do not justify their own consumption, or come out with a barrage of questions. Just very sort of disinterested really.
And I myself don’t feel massively compelled to drink. I feel good, don’t get me wrong, and I think it’s a good idea to complete the 100 day challenge at least. But I don’t have boundless energy, or masses of extra time. Problems are still problems, and it feels like a while since I’ve had a pink cloud moment.
Those half hearted ‘why have you quit’ questions actually make me think to myself, ‘what IS the point?’ Do I feel any different? I really feel like the answer is ‘not that much’ but perhaps I am fooling myself???
I haven’t got round to quitting sugar yet but I do want to drastically improve my diet – I need more energy and I don’t feel my body is very healthy yet despite quitting the booze. But I am a bit worried that either I won’t be successful at changing my diet, or even if I manage to do it, I still won’t feel any better.
It’s only when I dream about drinking that I panic. A couple of accidental sips because I ‘forgot’ my commitment to 100 days, and in my dream I am devastated – having lost my 60-odd days I am an utter failure and can never forgive myself.
I really would love some pink clouds at some point…