100 days won’t be enough

I’m feeling good about 76 days sober. But I’m nowhere near where I need to be.

Maybe this is just how sober life IS. I bob along fine, until a small ripple catches up with me, and I think ‘oh yea, I never dealt with all that stuff…no wine to cope stuff down feelings….what happens next? Help?!’

Is that just life?

And then suddenly, I feel all calm and relaxed again… That stuff is still there, still needs my attention, but I feel calm. I love being sober. Life feels new but comfortable, yet challenging and rewarding. I want to do my best at everything.

Sometimes I don’t have the energy to do everything I feel I should be doing… and sometimes there aren’t enough hours in the day. I haven’t got an Action Plan, like I wanted. The heavy stuff is still heavy. But now I get to put it down and have a rest every now and then.

I want to let the heavy things go. That’s where I want to be.

I want to be my best version of me. I want to be loved, and to love, as that person. Nothing more, nothing less.

It helps immeasurably to know that I’m not alone 🙂

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2 thoughts on “100 days won’t be enough”

  1. It is just life. We notice the ups and the downs more now that we aren’t numb. Self awareness can be double edged. But it is living!
    At some point I expect the count won’t matter. I know I am not a counter. This is just a way better life and I am keeping it.

    Liked by 1 person

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