Today is my day 100!!

Yes, that’s right – me, the girl who loves (loved) her wine! I have successfully reached 100 days sober.

I’m so proud of myself – I set out to do this thing, at a time when I felt shaky and vulnerable. I wanted to stop comparing myself to others and let go of the anxiety that seemingly held me back at every turn. I was also afraid for my marriage, which I was all of about seven weeks into.

And how did I get here? Just by taking it one step at a time. I’ve had highs and lows, times when I’ve felt like a drink because I’m sad, times I’ve felt like drinking because I’m happy. If I’m honest, I don’t think I ever got very far down that thought process though. I was enjoying the process of recognising myself far too much for that. ‘Oh hello, waking, I’ve not seen you properly for years – how are you?’ I’m getting to know the real me.

And there is still so much to know. As I move past day 100 and continue this sober journey, I want to pick up all those threads of my life that I had left behind. Some I can see clearly, others just glimpsed at. I have a feeling that I will be able to twist them all together to create a life with more meaning. Meaningful work, a meaningful contribution, more meaningful relationships. And I can do all that with what I already have inside me – it’s me, just me. I don’t have to try to be something I’m not. What I have to offer the world is worthwhile. I just needed to get sober to realise it πŸ™‚

I’ve found that being sober doesn’t fix everything. Which is a shame, but hey. Maybe I am getting better at fixing stuff. And what I can’t fix? Well I guess there are some mountains you just have to live with πŸ˜‰ I could stick the serenity prayer in right about now…:)

Speaking of which, I will just add that that prayer reminds me of my late Nanna. She was a truly amazing woman, full of love, and would do anything for anyone. Of course I would say that…but so did many other people, not just family. Everyone knew of her generous, loving nature. Anyway, she always had in the lounge, a little stained glass window ornament – you know the ones, with the hinge so they stand upright – with the serenity prayer written on it in coloured glass. I wasn’t aware of its significance to the recovery movement, until a friend pointed it out. ‘That’s funny’, I said, ‘My Nanna has been a Methodist all her life and has never once touched a drop of alcohol’. A very wise woman! She was 99 when she died. I think she might be proud of me, too. πŸ™‚

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10 thoughts on “Today is my day 100!!”

  1. Oh my gosh, Congratulations! Inspiring! Did you set out on this journey thinking that you only wanted to do 100 days or were you always committed to a forever lifestyle? I am always interested in hearing others’ long term goal.

    Once again, congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Ellie!

      I originally signed up for the 100 day challenge on tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking, because I’d tried to quit by myself and didn’t get past 10 days. I needed the accountability – although 100 days seemed like a huge amount of time, and I didn’t dare look too far ahead of myself.

      Now, I’m enjoying being sober so much, and I sense that the longer I am sober, the greater the positive impact it could have on my life.

      I still don’t want to look too far ahead though. for example, I haven’t signed up to 180 days because again, it seems like to big a number! So one day at a time. Maybe that’s why counting days appeals to me – little segments of manageable time all strung together… πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. Hello! I have just read your entire Blog from start to finish after finding it – you left a comment on mine today. we are at similar stages so I really wish I had found this sooner. we have had a similar path so far. because i have read it from start to finish in one go, I really noticed a change in your tone and vibe towards the end, so much more confident and positive. Well done on the 100 day mark, I will be there in just a few more!!!!
    keep up the great work.
    Lisa
    http://www.thecword-compassion.com

    Like

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