Back to reality

I’ve been back home for almost a week, after a wonderful few days in Paris with Mr W. It’s our first wedding anniversary on Sunday, so the trip was really to celebrate our first year.

For anyone who hasn’t been, I can’t recommend it highly enough! We stayed in a gorgeous little hotel – almost on the outskirts really, but the metro was SO easy to use, that it wasn’t a problem. We went to Notre Dame, saw the Eiffel Tower, walked around Le Marais, and the  two highlights for me were the Palace of Versaille and Musee D’Orsay. Versaille was out of this world! We only saw the Chateau – there was so much more to see. It was opulence on a scale I’ve never seen before. Breathtaking. I’ve been reading bits and pieces about the French Revolution since we got back but I’m finding it rather complex…. The museum was also stunning. The building is a beautiful old railway station, and its crammed full of impressionist works of art, sculptures, art nouveau furniture from all over the place and much much more besides. We didn’t have time to see it all – I think another trip to Paris is definitely on the cards at some point…!

I had a tiny wobble about drinking, I think it was our last night. I was tired and hungry, and we were searching for a particular sushi restaurant that Mr W wanted to find. The atmosphere had to be right, it couldn’t just be any old sushi bar. Of which there seemed to be many! I’m actually making it sound like we walked for miles and miles, which wasn’t the case, to be fair. But I started down a train of thought which went something like: I’ve done better than I expected on my first sober holiday. I thought I’d want to drink wine every night, because it’s Paris, and because that’s what I’d normally do on holiday. But I didn’t really think too much about it. Just had sparkling water, and one Orangina. So of course the next thing I think about is how I will cope with the anticlimax of success? The treats and rewards system goes completely out of the window and suddenly I’m worrying about drinking. Ffs!! I mean, really!!

Anyway, it didn’t last long. We enjoyed our sushi and that was that. In fact I’m thinking about drinking a lot less in general. And I think those antidepressants are starting to do their thing. I’m not exactly buzzing or anything, but I feel a bit calmer. It’s quieter inside my head. I can’t tell you, the relief! After such a noisy racket of negative thoughts, it’s so good to have some peace. Now is quite possibly the time to go and find some CBT…

La vie est belle 😀