I not only survived, but really enjoyed a social event on Saturday. It was the carnival. Lots of drinking was done by all (except me!) My husband and I were out with friends and watched the procession – floats, brass bands (and a bagpipes band) and Rose Queens – outside the pub, then we went over to the (crown green) bowling club where there was a bit of a fun fair. Later on, back to the pub. A good eight hours of a day out!
I was truly astonished at how well it all went. I’ve struggled to get on with one of the people we were with, in the last year or so. I’ve written about it on here. But this weekend, something just lifted, the person’s whole attitude was completely different, and everything seemed to click into place. We were somehow both slightly more able to understand each other, and that was enough to make a huge difference. It totally blew me away!!
That wouldn’t have happened, had I still been drinking, I can pretty much guarantee it. I’m so happy I am sober, happy it feels easier and easier to enjoy social gatherings like this. I mean, being an introvert and all, I’m having to learn what’s the best strategy for me. I tell my husband beforehand that I might leave early. Being around so many people for a long time tires me out, but it’s easier to deal with if I’m prepared for it. The next day I try to plan in some quality time alone if I can. Which is what I did on Sunday, and it helped immensely to re-energise me. I think I’m finally getting the hang of it 🙂
I did notice a few times, there were lulls in conversation, and after the fact I realise I could have said more, asked more questions. But I’m not beating myself up about it – like many things, this is still a work in progress. But progress I have done! Do you remember the first post I wrote? I was terrified about going to a social thing. With kids, alcohol, and possibly people I didn’t know. Well, circumstances on Saturday were similar. My husband even wandered off a few times, like he usually does. Ordinarily I would have been anxious and felt abandoned, but not so at the carnival this weekend! Nope, I went to get candy floss (cotton candy?) – I just had to have some – and shared it with our friends’ little boy. Then I had a go on Hook-a-Duck and got myself a prize (a teddy bear in the end – unfortunately the minions were mouldy!) And I just enjoyed everyone’s company. I genuinely think they enjoyed mine, too – even though I was a bit quiet, even though I was completely sober. The important thing is, I was being thoroughly me.
So, I’m happy. Which is a direct result of getting sober, and continuing to be sober for eleven months. It has helped me to be more me, and life feels so much better that way 🙂
Anyone who is struggling out there, or not sure whether sobriety is worth it… I promise you, it soooooo is! Yes, there are hard days and tough times (that’s life I suppose, whether you’re drinking or sober), but sticking with it through all of that, not giving up – it’s worth it a million times over. I’m a bit stunned actually, how much my life has changed – from the inside out. A subtle difference on the face of it, but really a seismic shift in comparison to how I was before I quit.
28 days to go to one year!