More positive

I just counted on my fingers and its now day 6. I absolutely cannot drink at all even if I wanted to (I couldn’t imagine anything worse right now) because I did in fact get an infection from the hysteroscopy /biopsy procedure.
I rang the hospital to ask questions about my symptoms, fever, pain that isn’t relieved by over the counter medication, and the fact that a swab had revealed Staphylococcus aureus when I was in hospital previously. My GP had phoned me the night before the procedure to emphasise the importance of telling the gynaecologist these findings from the swab….but he never said anything like ‘you must come back to us for antibiotics immediately afterwards’. And the gynae said it wasn’t a problem, even though I mentioned it TWICE!!

Anyway I was relating all these things to a lady at the hospital and I felt really silly for not making more of a point of this risk of infection at the time, as it was becoming fairly obvious to me that I had developed an infection…. she said my GP should have given me antibiotics and to go back to them. So I did, and now I have them. Two per day and I have to be sitting or standing. So even though I had almost no sleep last night due to the pain, I’ve had to prop myself up in bed to take the tablet… then leave it another 2 hours before I can take my iron tablet!

So I cannot drink -and luckily I don’t want to!- because it’d ruin the effectiveness of the antibiotics.

I spoke to my sister about it all yesterday. She is a nurse, and she said that GPs are extremely reluctant to prescribe antibiotics these days. In the past, they would have been handing them out for lots of things, but due to the current worries about antibiotic resistance, they are not as forthcoming with scripts for these drugs. Which, of course is a very good thing, but unfortunately I had to wait until my symptoms were quite bad so that I eventually realised what was going on.

One thing which did impress me, they grow on the colonies of bacteria in the lab to then test exactly which drugs will be effective in treating the infection. How sensible!

That’s enough medical stuff… I want to say thanks for all the lovely comments on my last post. Now I’ve had a few more days to get my head around things, I do feel a bit more positive, and a lot less desperate. I want to focus on feeling well more than anything, and I’m another step in the right direction after getting to the bottom of the latest problem.

Like my sister said to me, I’m going to try not to rush too far ahead with my thoughts and fears, just take it one step at a time. And I am very familiar with doing just that in relation to sobriety. One day at a time.

Thank you for being there, everyone 🙂 xx

I don’t remember ever feeling this bad

I feel exhausted. It seems like a long time since I felt completely well in myself. The weekend didn’t help. I had my biopsy taken on Friday,  and I was so relieved that it was over, and so tired from being nervous beforehand. I lost all my focus and drank wine that evening.
The next day, I was gearing up for a new day one, when my husband came home from work with bad news. The surgeon had called him with the results of his test; it’s negative. The surgeon was very surprised, he said he had been so sure it would be a success. But he also seems to think that all is not lost, and has booked us another test in a couple of months time.

I was a mess for the rest of Saturday.  We watched Saving Mr Banks in the evening and I cried more or less all the way through. On Sunday I woke up with the idea that I can save all the money we need for IVF if it comes to that… now I’m not so sure. I’ve been up and down and everywhere else in such a short space of time. I must wait longer.

But I didn’t drink on Sunday.  Today is day 4. I’ve been off sick today, last night I had a fever and I’m hoping it’s nothing to do with the biopsy on Friday – apparently there is a (miniscule) chance of infection. However it’s more likely that I caught a chill at work because we’ve had no heating for the last few days. Well, we were given tiny electric heaters, but that’s nowhere near enough to heat the labs – they’re big, high rooms. So we’ve all been shivering.

I’m so tired. I just want to feel well, and then maybe I can work on trying to feel some hope. I’m afraid to be hopeful though, in case of another negative result. I should be letting go, but I just feel so stuck. I don’t think I’ve ever really prayed before, but I’m going to start now – there’s no one else that can help.