I’m here again. I don’t really know what my plan is – sometimes I think sobriety is the thing I need most in my life (this would/will be my day one when I can actually make a decision) and sometimes it feels as though the last thing I need is to give myself a task so difficult as that feels.
I’ve had surgery to remove my ovarian cysts, and I have fully recovered from that. I go back to work tomorrow, which is also probably why I’m feeling a little bit strange. I haven’t felt properly a part of the world for a few weeks now. and I suppose going back to work is the last part of getting back to ‘normal’. Whatever normal is… I had an appointment with the Consultant today, however it wasn’t my consultant – he wasn’t in…! So I go back next week to talk to him. I had the option of starting hormone treatment today – but I’m not agreeing to that until it’s fully explained to me, and a good reason given to me. It will basically cause the menopause for as long as the treatment lasts. which in some cases can actually be until the actual menopause. Along with all of the side effects/symptoms of the menopause of course. You understand my reluctance?!
My husband had another test to see if his operation might have succeeded and we are waiting for those results. Which will have a bearing on my side of things. I’m sorry if this is all too much information, but it is how my life is arranging itself at the moment.
But I am well – so much better than I felt before. And I’m grateful for that. I realised that without your health, you have nothing. Maybe I do need to have another try at sobriety. I know it will do me good. Plus, with the benefit of actually knowing I had anaemia, and now treating it with iron supplements, I might be able to make some progress this time instead of feeling depressed and worrying I was a dry drunk.
Day one it is then. I know I will feel better, I’ve been there before. Wish me luck!