Quiet

It definitely gets easier, being sober. The day to day not drinking, gets more normal. I haven’t thought much about drinking in the last few days. It’s nice to not have to wrestle with that inner voice that just wants wine.

I am aware, though, that I haven’t encountered any events yet. All quiet on the social front. I’m a bit worried about that. Sometimes I feel inclined to stay home for the rest of my life actually, considering most friends of ours have children. And all the pregnant women you can bump into…well. It’s hard, and makes me want to hide in my sober bubble.

Sobriety seems to be helping, in that respect. There’s the sober bubble, where I can hide when it all gets too much. Also treats and self care, which ensure I don’t get overwhelmed, and I can deal with stuff. And I can sleep, therefore no waking up at 3:30 am, driving myself crazy with shame, fear, and doubt. And no false emotions caused by half a bottle of red, no tears after arguing with husband because I’m too fuzzy to think straight.

I need to remind myself of all of this when the next event arises. And when the triggers occur. For example, the weather has recently taken a turn for the better, and a glass of something nice outside on my new bistro table and chairs rather appeals.

But no! I will stay sober. It has taken this time for the drinking voice to quieten down even a little bit, so the last thing I want to do is get it going again.

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