Baby raspberry..? Post #3 shifting down a gear. Again.

We went for a consultation at the private fertility clinic on Wednesday. It feels like weeks ago now.
The doctor we spoke to was lovely. But the results of my tests weren’t good. My AMH was 1.4, falling short of the 5.5 minimum expected of a woman my age. The scan showed 7 follicles, which is something at least. Although ideally I think they like to see 10. The really worrying thing for me was, that the fibroid, which isn’t particularly huge (about 2 – 3 cm), is causing a marked indentation into the uterus cavity. And the doctor was concerned that it may be interfering with the surface of the endometrium, which would be very bad. I did ask whether, if that was in fact the case, anything could be done to rectify it. But I can’t remember what she said. I will be emailing her with all the paperwork I have received so far from the nhs hospital where I’ve had my other procedures, so I’m going to ask the question again.

I’m strangely optimistic about the AMH level. I am convinced the only reason it is low is due to the effects of the Prostap hormone treatment I had for two months, which is still affecting my cycle. I am quite sure that AMH will return to normal after 3 or 4 cycles (when they choose to start up again, that is!!). In September, I’ll go for the day 3 blood tests, and hopefully that will show normal levels of AMH, FSH and LH.

The doctor was questioning the reasons for me having the fallopian tubes removed, as they didn’t pick up on any fluid in the tubes on the ultrasound can. Hence my sending all correspondence from the hospital to her (I couldn’t get an appointment with the nhs consultant, they were having trouble ‘fitting people in’) so she can cast her medically trained eye over it. I’ve worked out what most of it means but there’s some stuff I’m not sure on.

So more waiting. I’m really struggling, which is why I haven’t written for a while. I actually drank on Saturday night, after 35 days sober. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it but I just feel crap in general. I’m afraid to hope, really, is the long and the short of it. And feeling negative and/or trying to push everything to the back of my mind is very draining, day in, day out.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Baby raspberry..? Post #3 shifting down a gear. Again.”

  1. My heart feels for you right now. I know that fertility issues are all encompassing. Quitting alcohol is all encompassing. You are dealing with two ginormous issues. Don’t beat yourself up. We all do stuff we don’t feel good about sometimes. View the blip from the perspective that you made a choice to drink. View that you controlled that decision. Now you can decide to go AF some more because it didn’t make you feel good. Again, your choice. You know you can go 35 days so you can do it again. Thinking of you, please keep us posted!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How stressful!! It’s so hard to go to all of these appointments and to keep all of the information straight and wait and wait and then make decisions! In the meantime, our dearest hopes are dangling with so much uncertainty! It’s enough to make anyone miserable. Wishing you lots of strength to keep on keeping on! You have been doing great. Every day is a new day in sobriety to start again. You’re worth it!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s