Untitled

I’m in hospital, waiting for surgery. The consultant has been to see me. As usual, everything seems much more serious than I realised.

I’ll hopefully be having both fallopian tubes removed, but the surgeon said he may have to open me up to do this, as it may be too difficult with laparoscopy. Apparently everything is very stuck down, making removal of two small parts very difficult. He may not be successful at all.

I got the impression from the consultant in January, that he had managed to do quite a good job of removing the cysts and clearing a lot of the endometriosis. But here I am, looking at having a laporotomy, and even that might not work.

Oh and I needed to hand in a sample earlier, for a pregnancy test. The nurse who did it just walked past my bay and said, looking relieved and laughing abit, ‘negative’. How much nicer it would have been for her to come and speak to me properly and just explain what test had been done, and the result, with no sigh of relief.

I want to cry, but I’m on my own, there are only nurses around. They don’t seem to understand, they just have to get people into gowns and off to theatre. I’m not going until 3 o clock, so I have a long time to wait and I’ll have to stay in overnight.

I’m going to try and keep calm, but I really just want this to be over.

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