Back to reality

I’ve been back home for almost a week, after a wonderful few days in Paris with Mr W. It’s our first wedding anniversary on Sunday, so the trip was really to celebrate our first year.

For anyone who hasn’t been, I can’t recommend it highly enough! We stayed in a gorgeous little hotel – almost on the outskirts really, but the metro was SO easy to use, that it wasn’t a problem. We went to Notre Dame, saw the Eiffel Tower, walked around Le Marais, and the  two highlights for me were the Palace of Versaille and Musee D’Orsay. Versaille was out of this world! We only saw the Chateau – there was so much more to see. It was opulence on a scale I’ve never seen before. Breathtaking. I’ve been reading bits and pieces about the French Revolution since we got back but I’m finding it rather complex…. The museum was also stunning. The building is a beautiful old railway station, and its crammed full of impressionist works of art, sculptures, art nouveau furniture from all over the place and much much more besides. We didn’t have time to see it all – I think another trip to Paris is definitely on the cards at some point…!

I had a tiny wobble about drinking, I think it was our last night. I was tired and hungry, and we were searching for a particular sushi restaurant that Mr W wanted to find. The atmosphere had to be right, it couldn’t just be any old sushi bar. Of which there seemed to be many! I’m actually making it sound like we walked for miles and miles, which wasn’t the case, to be fair. But I started down a train of thought which went something like: I’ve done better than I expected on my first sober holiday. I thought I’d want to drink wine every night, because it’s Paris, and because that’s what I’d normally do on holiday. But I didn’t really think too much about it. Just had sparkling water, and one Orangina. So of course the next thing I think about is how I will cope with the anticlimax of success? The treats and rewards system goes completely out of the window and suddenly I’m worrying about drinking. Ffs!! I mean, really!!

Anyway, it didn’t last long. We enjoyed our sushi and that was that. In fact I’m thinking about drinking a lot less in general. And I think those antidepressants are starting to do their thing. I’m not exactly buzzing or anything, but I feel a bit calmer. It’s quieter inside my head. I can’t tell you, the relief! After such a noisy racket of negative thoughts, it’s so good to have some peace. Now is quite possibly the time to go and find some CBT…

La vie est belle 😀

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6 thoughts on “Back to reality”

  1. Congratulations! I’m so in awe of you. I’m glad you had fun. I’ve been to paris once as well and one trip is not nearly enough to do everything and really absorb the place. What an amazing accomplishment. I hope that rather than being anticlimactic your success reinforces your confidence in the more genuine and healthy version of yourself that you have become over the last 300+ days.

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    1. Thank you for such a lovely comment 🙂 and I think you’re right, my confidence in being sober has increased. As I build up more time I do feel more secure in my sobriety.

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  2. I just discovered your blog and find it very inspiring, thank you! I didn’t get a real shot yet at getting sober – for good – but I’m almost there… I find the sobriety tools on the web very helpful, but I think I will need “IRL” support as well, someone I can talk to or see in person. Maybe AA meetings or a therapist. Did you do it on your own? So thank you for your insights and keep writing! Love Paris as well (I am French Canadian), it’s so romantic! 🙂

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    1. Hi, thanks for your comment! I’m so happy you’re inspired:-) I did dry January in 2014 at first, then at the end of July signed up for the 100 day challenge at Tired of Thinking about Drinking. I definitely had plenty of times before that when I thought I should quit but didn’t want to or couldn’t. I haven’t been to AA, I’m still not sure about that. I saw a counsellor about a separate issue, but sobriety did come up. Yes irl support would be good, I know I could do with some! 🙂

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  3. Dear Waking,
    Thank you for telling me to delete, Candy Crush Soda!
    I haven’t done it yet, but getting close.
    My husband and I went to Paris twice.
    We loved it! I live in the state of Minnesota, USA.
    I started a blog too, and it is helping me. You have been sober 300 plus days?
    That’s so great!
    I have been sober for 278 days!
    xo
    Wendy
    tipsynomore.blogspot.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so great isn’t it, you just keep plodding on, one day at a time and then you look up and it’s some crazy number of days. A number I never thought I’d get to, anyway! I’ve just found out how to follow blogs on sites other than WordPress so I’ll put yours on my list 😀

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