Counting…up and down

I need to set up my day counter app. No! not because I’ve had a drink, but because I’m on day 30 and I didn’t set it up this time. Working out what day I’m on is starting to get a bit long-winded.

This weekend I had a few cravings for wine. I think the 2-4 week period -at weekends – is definitely a tough one for me. And feeling ‘up’ is a bit of a trigger, on the weekends. For example, when I drive home from the gym singing along to Bon Jovi at full blast on a Friday afternoon, I think ‘what do I do with this high feeling?’ and I just want some wine to sort of celebrate or something. But I didn’t have any. Whilst driving around and enjoying myself just as much the next morning, I was very glad I hadn’t, as I wouldn’t have been so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!

Last week I did have ups and downs, but it is all a learning curve. I’m getting quite into the insight timer app, (where would I be without apps…) and in particular the ‘change is the only constant’ guided meditation. It talks about the serenity prayer and I’ve found that after listening, I do tend to remember throughout the day, that circumstances, thoughts and even feelings are always changing constantly. The bad feelings pass, the good moments are to be savoured.

Tonight I’m feeling happy, and I’m savouring being alone. I’ve got a burning sore throat which I hope doesn’t develop into a cold, so I’m not doing anything much. Watching Nashville, got a couple of candles lit and wrapped up warm on the sofa. Two weeks till my op, counting down!



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